Living in a democracy means that it’s important for all of us to participate in the process. If you don’t like the way something is happening in the government, you contact your local representatives and share your thoughts. If you disagree with a company’s policies, you either contact their senior executives or you vote with your wallet and stop buying.
These are all normal, commendable components of living in the United States.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t work all the time. When you “ghostest” – protesting without any substance or thought – you look like an idiot.
This year, for some reason, everyone’s protesting Girl Scout cookies.
I don’t know why it’s happened all of a sudden. My daughter has been selling cookies for about 4 years now, and this is the first year there’s been any real hubbub. Of course, it’s also an election year and it seems like there’s more virtual hubbub than ever to get upset about.
I’ve seen protests and heard them at the doors we’re knocked on:
- Girl Scouts support Planned Parenthood
- They’re sending girls to evil “conservative” media news outlets to get research.
What I’m telling you is that whether you think the parent organization is too liberal or too conservative, telling the local girl scout troop isn’t going to get you anywhere.
Reason 1: Cookie sales are run more like Mary Kay than The Gap.
Each girl scout that sells cookies has to sign for the cookies and assume financial responsibility for all cookies that are ordered. This is why, if you order cookies from your local girl scout and never pick them up or pay for them, that little girl’s family has to pay for them. After the sales period is over, the troop she belongs too gets a percentage of all the cookie sales. For most troops, this is their only fundraising activity.
If you believe some of the internet stories about the Girl Scout corporate organization, then you should be directing your ire to the Council Leadership and not the girl at your door. She doesn’t have any power. Her parents don’t have any either. Her troop leader doesn’t have that kind of power. If you’re truly upset about some secret scouting agenda, talk to the folks in charge.
The kids may think they're in charge, but trust me - they're not.
If you’re really concerned about the issues, talk to the ones that set policy. Otherwise, it’s as empty a protest as cutting and pasting someone’s Facebook status. If you’re not really passionate about making a difference and you’re just giving something lip-service, you’re wasting my time. And hers.
Reason 2: My daughter has no idea what you’re talking about.
Look, I’m all for educating children about government and making a difference and being empowered. I grew up in the era of Madonna and Margaret Thatcher. I’m the President of my own company. I get the whole female empowerment and social consciousness thing.
However, trying to explain my to my 9 year-old the difference between liberal and conservative values is only going to confuse her and frustrate you. Additionally, she won’t understand you’re just passionate. She’ll think you’re actually mad at HER, that SHE personally has done something wrong.
Believe me, you have better odds of winning the lottery than having her understand what the heck you're talking about.
Cookie sales are supposed to teach the girls about responsibility and setting goals. I think the experience of dealing with angry or concerned customers is a good one. We teach the girls how to stay gracious in the face of a “no” and just keep going instead of taking it personally. When you say “no,” my daughter will smile and thank you anyway – she doesn’t care about your cause or your tirade.
Reason 3: If you’re going to bring it up, I suggest prepare yourself for her response.
Of course, if you insist on forcing the conversation because you think it’s important for my daughter to understand “the right” way of thinking about something, you may be in for a surprise. I said earlier that I encourage my kids to understand process, goals, empowerment, and social change. Given all these protests this year, I’d had conversations about each of these “issues” with my daughter. I’ve even explained the boycott concept to her. She’s ready to have that talk, if you’re going to keep pressing her.
If you want to talk about it, you’d better listen to her or we’re going to walk away and you’re still going to look like an idiot. Only this time, you’ll look like an idiot AND a bully.
When we’ve had to talk about it at someone’s door, it’s pretty normal for my daughter to say:
On boycotts: “I think that’s kind of dumb. I don’t understand how not buying cookies will make a difference. The only one that knows is me. Even if I made a list of the sad people, where would I send it? And should I send it, Mommy? Because I don’t always agree. Is this part of my job?”
On the transgender inclusion: “I think it’s good for the boy. If that’s where he feels comfortable and he can learn things, I don’t care if he’s gay. Being gay isn’t bad, it’s just the way they are. Gay people need friends too. If those other girls don’t like it, they can just be in another troop. I don’t understand what the big deal is.”
On the conservative bias news site: “What? The research process we learn in school is to look at lots of different places to do research. I just go to different places with you [watching where I go online]. Mommy, you taught me that the more things we can learn, the better our conclusion will be.”
I know, lady. She surprises me all the time too.
At the end of the day, it’s not about the cookies. It’s about making this world a better place.
So don’t wait for your doorbell to ring. Go do something real.
